My Musical Condition

By Paul Beckman

I’m one of the unique ones I’m told. I hear music without an iPod or the like–in stereo no less. I can call up a song that I’ve heard and it’s every bit as good as listening to one of the devices that people plug into their ears.

There’s one slight problem. Something’s always playing in the background and I mean always. I can be having a phone conversation or be watching TV and Ravel’s Bolero or something will come up on shuffle. That’s right—I have the shuffle thing going on too.

I am my own Spotify or Pandora.

I walk around bopping my head to music and God forbid the theme from Rocky comes on like it did once in a meeting with the big boss and it wasn’t a pretty sight me getting up from the conference table running laps around the room humming along. Actually, the boss liked my energy.

This came on me suddenly about a year ago. I had a high fever and was hospitalized for observation. They never found out what was wrong and all I could do was listen to music—no TV.

One day a friend took my headset off to hear while I was nodding my head and singing the Ya-de-da-de-da parts to Fiddler and he heard nothing, but I kept on. The batteries were dead. Klezmer—don’t ask, same with “House of The Rising Sun”.

I’ve come to accept my condition but to not appear certifiable I wear ear buds and tuck the wire into my shirt and no one’s the wiser.

Hold on, The Weight by The Band just came on and it doesn’t shuffle around that often and I want to blast it. Be with you in 4:27.


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